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How Offended Are We?  Depends On Our Opinions These Days. Hizmr
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    How Offended Are We? Depends On Our Opinions These Days.

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    The Last Outlaw
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    PostThe Last Outlaw Sat Nov 17, 2018 4:51 pm

    How Offended Are We?  Depends On Our Opinions These Days. Rakv

    Welcome to a non-news, non-political edition of BETHEA'S BYTE: FREE BYTE.  What I'm writing about this week is the most obvious topic I can think of.  When I first created Bethea's Byte: The Forum, I had the idea of having meaningful discussion, good debates, but above all else, the "arena" to unleash your opinions about what's happening in our country and in our world.  Now, I'm not saying it's happening at Bethea's Byte or any other forum that I frequent, but I have noticed that these days, you can't have an opinion on anything because someone has to be right, no matter what the subject is and no matter what it takes to prove that they are right.

    I'm an opinionated guy, but I can tell you that I'm willing to listen to other's opinions, jokes, or what have you and not be OFFENDED!  At another forum that I frequent, I noticed a topic entitled How do you offend someone from your country?  One member (whom I agreed with) said that "If you live in America, you can offend anyone without trying. A lot of people in America have very thin skin and can't take a compliment. A few good examples is if you tell your boss that you love your job, they will think you're a smart ass. If you tell a woman she's really pretty, she'll think you're a stalker or a pervert. If you tell someone that you like their cloths, they will think you're making fun of them."  It's so true.  To give an example, I responded by saying that most Americans can't take a joke or criticism.  I added this for proof: "The be all-end all example (IMHO) is our current resident at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC."

    I'm gonna leave part of this Free Byte to the newest member of Bethea's Byte, and the Administrator for Yakety's @JazzyYaketys.

    JazzyYaketys wrote:First, it helps to understand exactly what we mean by “offended”. Is it the same thing as being insulted? No. Feeling insulted is certainly part of being offended, but you can feel insulted without being offended. If I call you a lazy jerk, you will probably feel insulted by that, as you should, but you probably aren’t offended.

    So what is the difference? Outrage. How dare you say that, do that, or think that? Now we're entering the territory of offended. Insult + outrage, but sometimes the insult isn’t even necessary.

    Now that we know what it is, why does it happen to people so much? Is it intentional, a function of our brain wiring, or both? Here are a few possible ideas I’ve come up with:

    Self importance: We naturally tend to think that our thoughts, our opinions, and our actions are right or correct. By definition, that means that anyone who thinks, believes, or does something different is wrong. On unimportant subjects we ignore this, but on issues that we consider to be important, we tend to think that their wrongness is damaging and therefore offensive. Religion, politics, abortion, gun control, immigration, race, and diet are common areas where this happens. Vegans are offended by people eating steaks, racists are offended by other races being treated like humans, democrats are offended by whatever the republicans said this week, and so on. We rarely stop to consider that we may not necessarily be totally right and the other people may not be totally wrong about the issue. We see it as black and white, not grey areas. Our position seems so solid and obvious that anyone who disagrees must be doing it on purpose with malicious intent.

    Emotions are addictive: People know this and play off it for their benefit. The news shows you people doing bad things, politicians on “the other side” “attacking our way of life”, and other things that are designed to offend. By getting offended by these things, we separate ourselves from them. Look how offended I am by this, I’m a good person, unlike THEM. That feeling of outrage and anger, followed by a feeling of superiority, causes addictive chemicals (emotions) to be released in the brain. So like any addiction, we seek more of it.

    What we can do about it: Forget about preventing other people from getting offended. They’re outside your control. Focus on preventing it for yourself. First, avoid things that are only designed to offend. The news, politicians, the KKK, you get the idea. You can’t stick your head in the sand, and you’ll inevitably see something designed to offend in your daily life. It is important to be vigilant towards this. One tactic that I’ve found helpful is to mentally label incoming information as useful or not useful, relevant or not relevant, biased or not biased, etc. Anything that is not useful or relevant can be immediately discarded without triggering offense. Anything potentially biased should probably also be discarded as it is most likely presented in a way to distort things and cause outrage. This is far from a perfect strategy, but it can help filter out some of the most egregious offenders.

    That's my BYTE on this....

    Bottom line, we need to be more accepting of each other and their opinions, jokes and criticism.  We should never be a society where "my opinion is the only one that matters."  Besides, if we all thought the same way, what kind of people would we be?

    Just saying.
    How Offended Are We?  Depends On Our Opinions These Days. R9Zf


    Last edited by The Last Outlaw on Sun Nov 18, 2018 10:50 pm; edited 1 time in total

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    How Offended Are We?  Depends On Our Opinions These Days. RhD4cHow Offended Are We?  Depends On Our Opinions These Days. RhfbI


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    PostJazzyYaketys Sun Nov 18, 2018 8:32 am

    First, it helps to understand exactly what we mean by “offended”. Is it the same thing as being insulted? No. Feeling insulted is certainly part of being offended, but you can feel insulted without being offended. If I call you a lazy jerk, you will probably feel insulted by that, as you should, but you probably aren’t offended.

    So what is the difference? Outrage. How dare you say that, do that, or think that? Now we're entering the territory of offended. Insult + outrage, but sometimes the insult isn’t even necessary.

    Now that we know what it is, why does it happen to people so much? Is it intentional, a function of our brain wiring, or both? Here are a few possible ideas I’ve come up with:

    Self importance: We naturally tend to think that our thoughts, our opinions, and our actions are right or correct. By definition, that means that anyone who thinks, believes, or does something different is wrong. On unimportant subjects we ignore this, but on issues that we consider to be important, we tend to think that their wrongness is damaging and therefore offensive. Religion, politics, abortion, gun control, immigration, race, and diet are common areas where this happens. Vegans are offended by people eating steaks, racists are offended by other races being treated like humans, democrats are offended by whatever the republicans said this week, and so on. We rarely stop to consider that we may not necessarily be totally right and the other people may not be totally wrong about the issue. We see it as black and white, not grey areas. Our position seems so solid and obvious that anyone who disagrees must be doing it on purpose with malicious intent.

    Emotions are addictive: People know this and play off it for their benefit. The news shows you people doing bad things, politicians on “the other side” “attacking our way of life”, and other things that are designed to offend. By getting offended by these things, we separate ourselves from them. Look how offended I am by this, I’m a good person, unlike THEM. That feeling of outrage and anger, followed by a feeling of superiority, causes addictive chemicals (emotions) to be released in the brain. So like any addiction, we seek more of it.

    What we can do about it: Forget about preventing other people from getting offended. They’re outside your control. Focus on preventing it for yourself. First, avoid things that are only designed to offend. The news, politicians, the KKK, you get the idea. You can’t stick your head in the sand, and you’ll inevitably see something designed to offend in your daily life. It is important to be vigilant towards this. One tactic that I’ve found helpful is to mentally label incoming information as useful or not useful, relevant or not relevant, biased or not biased, etc. Anything that is not useful or relevant can be immediately discarded without triggering offense. Anything potentially biased should probably also be discarded as it is most likely presented in a way to distort things and cause outrage. This is far from a perfect strategy, but it can help filter out some of the most egregious offenders.

    That's my BYTE on this....

    _________________
    How Offended Are We?  Depends On Our Opinions These Days. 9b5a13d6-2fcf-4bb6-800e-ac3d8f6a964b

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